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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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Our new Wankers are Lambeth Borough Council. It's a collective award to the employees of Lambeth Borough Council, to the borough councillors who should guide and direct their work with wisdom and fairness, and especially to the professional officers who in any local authority are the real power, the people who make their own decisions and then habitually bully councillors into agreeing with them. It's remarkably easy to bully politicians when you, by virtue of your job, are in possession of all the facts, have thoroughly rehearsed the arguments and know just what you can get away with. Compared to you, even the savviest politicians are just amateurs.
 
So this is grand community Wanker Award, a group hug of Wankers, a sort of South London circle jerk. But richly deserved, as you'll see ...
 
Mendoza Stewart is a music producer, and at the age of 51 he felt that the time had come when he might enjoy some of the fruits of his success and bring one of his dreams to reality.
 
After a long search, he found what he was looking for. It was a car, a very special car. A very special car indeed - a 1972 Bristol 411, one of only 287 hand-made in aluminium by the West Country former aircraft manufacturer, a unique business which had no showrooms or dealerships and always dealt directly with its customers. When built it was the fastest four-seater in the world, with a V8 engine that gave it a 0-60 time of seven seconds and a top speed of 143mph.
 
In 1972 it was worth the (then) princely sum of £7,000. Mr.Stewart had to pay £30,000, and thought he'd got a bargain.
 

The GOS has only seen three Bristols, and
they were all brown. Funny colour for a car.

 
Mr.Stewart parked the car in a council-run car park near his son's flat in Camberwell. When he returned it was missing. "I was horrified," he said. "I thought it had been stolen and went to the police."
 
But it hadn't been stolen. Borough parking officials had noticed that although it was legally parked, it had no tax disc. They'd called the big lorry with the crane on the back, which picked the Bristol up and took it to the pound. There, someone - not the police, sadly - spotted it, but before Mr.Stewart could get there and rescue it, it had been lifted by ramming the jaws of a grab through its roof, and crushed.
 
What the officials had not seen - or had wilfully ignored, who knows? - was that in one corner of the windscreen was a "nil payment" sticker. Because the Bristol was a rare car of a certain age, it was exempt from all road tax.
 
Mr.Stewart was, naturally, devastated. A car like that comes along only once in every car-lover's lifetime. Lambeth Borough Council admitted their mistake … but that's as far as it went. Apologies are free. Compensation costs money.
 
All this happened in 2004, but three years later, despite confirmation from the DVLA that the car was not subject to road tax, Mr.Stewart has received not a penny from Lambeth Borough Council. Their spokesman says "Solicitors acting for Lambeth council have accepted breach of duty on behalf of their client. The council apologises to Mr Stewart. As the matter is currently being litigated, we cannot comment further at this time but we are working hard to resolve this case as soon as possible."
 
It's not hard to understand why the mistake happened in the first place. Council officials are notoriously stupid (the GOS is allowed to say that - he used to be one), overly-officious, pedantic, vicious, ill-educated jobsworths. It does, of course, beg the question why they took it upon themselves to take an interest in the tax status of a legally-parked car. Probably because they thought "The law gives us the power, so let's 'ave a laugh, innit?"
 
What is difficult to understand is why the Council have so far not forked out any money. Suppose Mr.Stewart had refused to pay his Council Tax for three years - would they have been as patient as he has? Why was it necessary for him to take expensive legal action which, assuming he wins, will cost their tax-payers far more than £30,000? Mind you, they seem to like being sued - try Googling "Lambeth borough council" and you'll find hundreds of references to court cases they've been involved in.
 
It seems they're a pretty awful council in general. Reports by the Audit Commission show …
 
2006 - Private sector housing - only fair
2006 - Housing management services - only fair
2006 - Supporting People - good!
2004 - Waste management - only fair
2004 - Cultural services - only fair
2004 - Private sector housing - poor
2003 - Rehousing and Allocations - performance was below average
2003 - Private Sector Services - poor
2002 - Housing Repairs and Maintenance - only fair
2002 - Regulatory Services and Enforcement - poor
2002 - Library Service - poor
2002 - Parks and Open Spaces - only fair
2001 - Corporate Anti Fraud - only fair
2001 - Waste Management and Recycling - only fair
2001 - Customer Services (Homelessness) - only fair
2001 - ICT and Information - only fair
2000 - Joint review - Lambeth London Borough Council "not serving people well"
 
"Not serving people well"? Crumbs, they can say that again.
 
Mind you, we don't have a monopoly on driver-victimisation. In the state of Victoria, Australia, residents can now settle scores by calling the police and ordering the seizure of someone's car. Hearsay evidence that a car may have had a "sustained loss of traction" is enough for police to seize a vehicle.
 
Since the so-called "anti-hoon" legislation was enacted in July last year, Victoria police have seized 925 cars and 109 motorcycles - an average of nearly five vehicles per day.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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